Dear Moms,
My son is turning 8 in two weeks. He is very scared right now. He won’t go into any rooms in our house alone. He is scared to flush the toilet. He won’t run items down the stairs. He is fearful of monsters and things popping out at him. I’ve spoken to him about the fact that our home is a safe place for him to live and he doesn’t need to be scared, but of course that’s easily said but it doesn’t help ease his fear. I’ve been hard on him about it because he is so old, but maybe this isn’t the approach I should be taking, as sometimes it turns into tears. (which is an uncommon occurrence for him) I’d love your thoughts if you’ve read up on fears like this before and how to help ease them.
From:
Not Afraid
skip to main |
skip to sidebar
by Liz Lemon Swindle
A Time to Laugh
by Liz Lemon Swindle
Inspiring Words from Julie Beck's Talk: "Mothers Who Know"
The responsibility mothers have today has never required more vigilance. More than at any time in the history of the world, we need mothers who know. Children are being born into a world where they “wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places” (Ephesians 6:12). However, mothers need not fear. When mothers know who they are and who God is and have made covenants with Him, they will have great power and influence for good on their children.
Mothers who know are leaders. In equal partnership with their husbands, they lead a great and eternal organization. These mothers plan for the future of their organization. They plan for prayer, scripture study, and family home evening. Mothers who know build children into future leaders and are the primary examples of what leaders look like. They do not abandon their plan by succumbing to social pressure and worldly models of parenting. These wise mothers who know are selective about their own activities and involvement to conserve their limited strength in order to maximize their influence where it matters most.
Mothers who know are leaders. In equal partnership with their husbands, they lead a great and eternal organization. These mothers plan for the future of their organization. They plan for prayer, scripture study, and family home evening. Mothers who know build children into future leaders and are the primary examples of what leaders look like. They do not abandon their plan by succumbing to social pressure and worldly models of parenting. These wise mothers who know are selective about their own activities and involvement to conserve their limited strength in order to maximize their influence where it matters most.
Labels
- baby (2)
- bedtime (1)
- defiance (1)
- entertainment (1)
- Fears (1)
- finances (1)
- girls (1)
- Indoor recreation (1)
- obedience (1)
- playtime (1)
- preschoolers (2)
- puberty (1)
- sex education (1)
- tweens (1)
- working (1)
I have noticed that turning 8 is interesting for children in many ways. Boys, especially are entering a period of emotional development, which lasts until they're almost 11 (my oldest boys are 11 1/2 and 9). Things that seem benign suddenly are overwhelming and tears flow freely in LOTS of situations. Their brains are connecting things in new ways. In my opinion, I would be gentle and let him know you understand that he's having concerns and ask him how you can help. He'll probably give you the solution he needs with a little patience and acceptance. As a momma, I know how easy it is to say, "What's wrong? Why can't you.....____?"
ReplyDeleteAnother thing that happens around 8 is the preparation for receiving baptism and confirmation. I had a brother who was afraid to go to church on the first sunday of every month. He told my parents his stomach didn't feel good....month after month. Then, my parents realized that what he was having was butterflies in his tummy during testimony meeting. He later expressed that is how he feels the spirit, and once he understood what was happening, he was able to go to church without complaint. But didn't know that when he was very young and it scared him.
Observe a bit and see if you can't help him put 2 and 2 together. It'll be something you'll both always remember.
Keep me posted.... Sara
I'm coming over from Mormon Mommy Blogs, asking for your help. I am in the running for a round trip airfare paid ticket to Connecticut, to meet a friend I became acquainted with through blogging. She is a super fun person and is holding this contest. I entered a funny story titled "Grapejuice Floaties, Now Marry Me." The person whose story receives the most votes will win a trip to meet this generous lady, whom I'm hoping to meet. The voting ends tonight-midnight. I used to be ahead but there is a story coming up from behind out of nowhere, and it's a tight race now. I would so much appreciate your help. Her blog is www.becausemomsaidso.blogspot.com and the voting is on the sidebar on the right. "Grapejuice, Floaties" Just go there and cast a vote for me, please. Thanks so much-you're awesome! ♥♥
ReplyDeleteI'm curious to know whether or not something triggered is fears... like maybe watching a scary movie or a bad dream.
ReplyDeleteMy thought would be to kneel and pray with him over feeling comfort. This might be a great teaching opportunity to help him develop a testimony of prayer and having prayers answered.
Just a thought.
You know- last year my son was very fearful and actually couldn't make it through a day of school...he thought he was going to die. (He would have panic attacks.)
ReplyDeleteThe school counselor was extreemly patient with him, gave him a "free pass" card he could use to visit her whenever he wanted. She bent over backwards... letting him call me, take him home, etc... I was thinking a little TOO soft on him.. but after 3 weeks of reassurance that if he really needed help- someone was there. It seemed he went on with his life. (He went to the councelor less and less on his own.)
So I know it is hard. Thankfully he out-grew it. Just try to be patient and give him all the comfort he feels he needs.